funny and searing account of becoming a single mother
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Not being a dumpee but having far too many friends who are, I bought this partly as a way of gaining insight into how I might help them, and partly out of curiosity. Oulton's book isn't a guide, but more of a memoir. She goes through the various stages of horror, grief, rage, acceptance and healing with an honesty that is both admirable and ill-advised. Frank about the dangers of depending too much on drink, or the patience of supporters, and very funny about what kinds of revenge are or aren't acceptable I think she should have had a wiser editor in places. It's one thing to admit to feelings of murderous jealousy and another to go into sex toys - something that I imagine will mortify the author's sons, especially as she is clearly uncomfortable about the subject "(Please don't dismiss the subject of jolly motorised moments entirely and forever, as I did. Some of the, eek, vibrators are tiny" etc.)
The breathless, slipshod style in which the book is written is also an irritant. Oulton thinks "dement" is a verb not an adjective, and interjections like "gulp", "hallo?" and "eek" make you see why her ex, a poet, just might have been driven to distraction. Readers who have been truly dumped by their partners, or know those who are, may also discern a modicum of staying power in "the Bolter" for at least turning up to PTA meetings, having his sons to stay and making spasmodic attempts to keep in touch. However, the emotional intelligence, kindliness, courage and self-scrutiny displayed in Dumped does also make this a really interesting and useful book. It gave me ideas about what I could offer one of two close friends by way of help, and I am sure that, besides the therapeutic effect of writing and publishing a book despite her ex's sneers, it will help a lot of dumpees. The most remarkable thing is that Oulton kept her career in TV going, and has gone on to have a daughter. Good for her.
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