Read this book if your yoke is heavy
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The basic message of this book is simple but important: God does not weigh his children down with guilt, God does not work his children to death, God does not tell his children to submit to abusive family members. That's the dramatic stuff and this book is well worth reading if you need to hear this particular form of Good News. The more subtle stuff involves mistaking the fruits of the Christian life for salvation. Another reader thought this was a simplistic feature of the book, but I think that (with the very best of intentions) many churches get conned by this subtle form of the anti-Gospel: if you don't go to all the church meetings, you're not a real Christian; if you don't work on all the committees, you're not a real Christian; if you don't speak in tongues, you're not a real Christian; etc., etc. This book does not constitute a witch-hunt for "cults". The material is drawn from every-day situations, including the dramatic and almost incredible to the every-day sorts of situations we want to say "no" to and sometimes find difficult.
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Whether you like it or not it's a must read
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Any book dealing with the subject of abuse is highly likely to ignite controversy. Johnson and Van Vonderon tackle the tricky subject of abuse in the supposed sanctuary of the church with tack and understanding. Whether you're a church leader or member it's well worth reading this book. Invariably those in leadership will find the book lacking. Those recovering from a period of fellowship under abusive and controlling leadership will find it a breath of fresh air. Such a division of thought is obvious depending from where you look. Strange though it seems it is demonstrably true that abuse occurs in situations where trust is a premium quality - child care homes, caring for the mentally ill or infirmed - why not then in the church. Whether leaders like it or not many have abused the trust placed in them by the members and have quite literally become too big for their boots. This book has the courage to expose this abuse and should be welcomed for that alone. If a leader is not abusive, they have nothing to worry about. Maybe though they protest too much and would prefer the church stay silent whilst people suffer. The authors do not agree, neither do I. A must read for anyone who thinks they are in a fellowship where abusive practices are going on.
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We're Not Gonna Take It Anymore!
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This book lets people know that though authoritarianism and coercion may be disguised as "spirituality," it's just a lie, plain and simple. If you're fearful and burdened in your church or Christian relationships, take heart - this book can help you find your freedom in Christ. Many people down through the ages have justified terrible atrocities in the name of Christ - this authoritarianism and coercion in the church is only one example. It's important that anyone trapped in such a situation find the strength to walk away from it, and this book can help! Remember, controlling and abusive people in the church DO NOT hold your salvation in their hands -that privilege is reserved for God alone. Unfortunately, it seems that so many people in the church today are consumed by their own pride and lust for power. I, too, was a member of an authoritarian religious group - yes, "WAS." :-))) I got free, and I hope anyone in that situation can get free, too. You can have a vibrant and fulfilling relationship with Christ without having your every move controlled by a pastor, an evangelist, a "discipler," or whatever.
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The message of God's grace abounds in this book
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It has been my experience that many Christians who speak of God's grace and mercy in fact live grace-less lives and inflict their grace-lessness on others. The result can be hurting souls that writhe in human-induced torment only to hear that they are resisting the conviction of the Holy Spirit. Or, they walk away from God because they are unable to tolerate the pain caused by the legalistic demands of others. Or, they give up on reading the Bible because their God-given intellect can't reconcile with the narrow, rigid interpretations that are presented as the one and only truth by their spiritual authority figures. This book helped me find a way to feel whole and Christian. While reading of this book, I was often dumbstruck with the authors' ability to describe in accurate detail the source of many hurts, confusions, and fears. (I thought their comments about the children's chorus "Be Careful Little Eyes What You See" were right on target! That song always gave me the willies!) I read this book with a healthy dose of skepticism. I resisted and continue to resist the tendency of some people to define themselves as a "survivor" of this or that type of abuse. Abuse of any kind follows a continuum. My personal experience wasn't nearly as extreme as some of those related in this book. I did not end this book feeling more convinced that I was a victim than when I began. I simply understood the dynamics and subtleties of the abuse more clearly. I recommend this book highly. I don't know that folks who participate in inflicting spiritual pain on others will recognize their behavior in this book. So often, they have the best of intentions and sincerely believe that there way is the (only) right way. But I think folks on the receiving end of abuse will have many "aha!!" moments while reading. Shalom and God Bless!
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Handle with care: May be dangerous.
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This book is written from a very persuasive standpoint. The book ends with the assumption that, by now, you must realize you've been abused and gives you two choices: flight or fight. One sign of "abuse" is: "You may have a hard time with trust". There are many general "symptoms" So the psychology of this book is broad enough to make everyone a "victim". It is also broad enough to make anyone an "abuser". I had many problems with this book. In one case, the author removed all "external manipulations" and watched some of his church "move joyfully into sin". He quickly adds that it was "painful to watch". (page 148) That sounds abusive to me! If you took all restraints of your children and watched them joyfully wander into the busy highway, you would be considered a cruel parent, and probably tried for murder. Oh, but it hurt so bad to watch! What about those who now bear the scars of sin? As I said before, the book is persuasive, not expository. It persuades you into believing that you were somehow, somewhere "spiritually abused". It contains some truth, but much more psychology and liberal interpretations of Scripture. The examples in the book are good examples of "spiritual abuse". And if all the examples are true (only one side is given), I would be suspect of any church. But he examples given are largely the exception and not the normal. Not every church with rules is abusive or riddled with scandals and pastoral "wolves". We should submit to Godly leadership. The Apostle Paul said "Follow me as I follow Christ". So be aware of potential dangers in this book, and don't let psychology replace the simplicity found in Christ.
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