Drawing a good line in religious life
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A very kind, down-to-earth book - the best kind of Christian counseling for managing relations, obligations, caring and abuse. Where religion commonly promotes unlimited demands on people, Cloud and Townsend show humane limits based on respect for both ourselves and others. And they firmly challenge any who feel it spiritual to blame the victim in cases of emotional abuse. On the way, they question many boundaries we draw in our lives, urging open consideration of what is actually helpful:
"Christians often have a warped way of looking at work. Unless someone is working 'in the ministry', they see his work as secular. However, this view of work distorts the biblical picture. All of us -- not only full-time ministers -- have gifts and talents that we contribute to humanity. We all have a vocation, a `calling' into service. Wherever we work, whatever we do, we are to do `unto the Lord'." (Colossians 3:23) (p. 194)
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Enlightening
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Having taken my time reading through this excellent book, I completed it feeling so much better for understanding some of the situations I have recently been faced with. So many of the examples and so much of the advice given, made me feel as though I was sitting in "the consulting room". I would highly recommend this book to anyone, whether they are under pressure or leading an "apparently" organised lifestyle - so much to be gained in implementing this guidance.
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Life changing
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This is a life-changing book, and a classic. I thnk the main message of the book can be summarised very simply: I need to understand where my boundaries are; take responsibility for the things within my own boundaries; and allow other people to take responsibility for the things within their boundaries.
Several aspects of the book can be quite annoying.
* It is American, with the cultural assumptions and norms that this implies.
* It is very Christian, with many references to Biblical stories and providing chapter and verse references to most of the quotes. This is not a problem for me, but I suspect it will limit the accessibility of the book for prople who are not evangelical Christians, which is a pity because the content works whatevery you believe.
* The style is very repetitive and obvious: you hear about the experiencs of a person who is struggling with areas of their life, they get taught how to apply appropriate boundaries, and you then hear about how much better their life is now that they apply the principles we have taught them.
All of which is to say that the book grates on some people's nerves. But don't let this put you off: whatever the problems of culture and style, the content is relevant and vital. If you are not applying these principles, this book could be one of the most important you will ever read; and if you are, it will help you understand why your life is so much better than most of the people around you - and how to help them take control of their lives.
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A 'Must-Read'
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I can honestly say that this book has really changed my life. God was on my case about reading it for several months beforehand and once I had, it opened my eyes to things I that only heard about or guessed at but had not really known. Personally, I think that the principles within it should be incorporated into our school curriculums. There would, I believe, be much less miscommunication, crime and heartache if we learnt these things early on in life! I highly recommend it!
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a must-read!
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An excellent book to read if you want to dramatically improve your relationships!
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