Amazing for the right type....
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What an amazing book!... If you are a middle ages woman, who is wanting a relationship where you have tricked a man into loving you, and therefore can never be your true self - then this is for you :-)
I purchased this book as part of a study i am doing, and to be honest with you it made me sick! I am not going to lie, some of the techniques will work - but i find it sickening that there are people out there that have given this 5*, even though it is manipulative and takes into no account for others feelings.
Here is a book i wrote... be yourself. Not at first as i do belive you do have to play games for the INITIAL attraction. But in the longrun, you should feel 100% at ease with who you are and your partner. BELIVE ME - YOU STICK WITH THIS STUFF MEN WILL HATE YOU. And so will alot of other people. But hey, if you are desperate - go for it ;-)
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A male dating coach's perspective on 'The Rules'
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I believe this book comes from a good place in its intention to empower women, and indeed the advice may work, but not as claimed. As a professional dating coach for GetTheGuy.co.uk in London many women quote me `The Rules'. It appears to be game playing at its extreme, telling women to maintain a facade of being busy, interesting and mysterious. Why the authors have such low expectations of their readers that they assume they have to fake these things is slightly bemusing. Basically it is about appearing `Hard to Get'. Of course there's nothing wrong with being a little bit unavailable, so the author's advice - don't talk to a man first, end calls first, never accept last minute dates etc. - is by no means unfounded, but contains some fatal flaws:
1. For every girl playing games there's a guy:
Like attracts like. Such tactics are likely to land you someone who employs similar tactics. You could turn those straight up guys you desire into a game players themselves if they feel the need to resort to such tactics to compete. Guys are much quicker to recognise game playing than you think. Who wins?
2. Is this a sustainable set of tools for getting the guy?
This is a quick fix mentality which says - keep pretending long enough and he'll ask you to marry him (Yes, the authors also stereotype every woman on the planet as marriage hungry). When you stop playing hard to get, will he be left wondering whether the REAL you is enough. Playing hard to get requires no charisma or personality; it takes courage to be yourself. This book is only quick fixes, illustrated by: "If you have a bad nose, GET A NOSE JOB."
3. Would you be attracted to a guy if you knew he was manipulating you?
If the answer is no, then DONT DO IT. If you want great relationships, don't be a hypocrite.
4. Apparently shy guys don't exist, and never have
Their message is: "If a man doesn't walk across the room to seek you out...then he's obviously not interested". Having coached men as well as women I know that a guy may think your a goddess, but that doesn't mean he'll have the confidence to approach you.
5. "You have to wait for someone to notice you"
Is this really the face of empowerment for women? Women deserve better, especially from their own. They say women who are forward "always end up heart broken when their forwardness is rebuffed". What are the chances of every guy you are interested in making the move you want? We teach not how to avoid rejection, but how to make things happen in spite of rejection. Would you rather be alone with no rejections, or with the man of your choice with a few healthy rejections under your belt?
Conclusion
If you want some light entertainment, or you just plain dislike the very men you are trying to be with, read this book. If you want genuinely practical and proven advice about being more attractive to men, steer clear.
The book states that "It's better to stay at home and read The Rules than go out and break them". I put to you that it is better to go out and meet new and interesting people than to sit at home and read a book telling you to wait to be noticed.
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FANTASTIC ADVICE!!
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Exactly the same advice your mother or grandmother might have given you to survive the "dating game" with your heart intact and Mr. Right beside you at the altar. I read and reread the book, then did it all in my very next relationship. Result?? One wonderful man and a proposal of marriage! We'll be celebrating 5 years of an extremely happy marriage next month! I'd heartily recommend this book to every woman who's tired of wasting time on commitment-shy losers waiting to move in and be supported by "liberated" ladies. Guys - if you're reading it and are "shocked", I suggest you straighten up your act if you want to catch (and hold onto) a REAL woman!
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smart rules
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Clever women will read between the lines of this book, and realise that the central message is ultimately about self-respect.
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Some great advice, classic, but remember not to take 100% of instructions way too seriously.
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In short this book is about meeting and keeping the right stalker!! I don't think you can apply all of the advices. But the old game of manipulation works miracles and not only in relationship with men, with freinds and anybody for that matter. It is a MUST-READ nevertheless!!!!!
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