Meanwhile, Nick's wife Laura has a biological clock louder than Big Ben--and she is determined to become pregnant. Nick is equally determined--by foul means or fair--to avoid fatherhood, and enlists an array of unconventional contraceptive methods, including sunburn, a saucepan of Horlicks and a loaded turkey baster. None of these, however, cause quite so much chaos as Anthony Spiteri, the debonair Maltese businessman claiming kinship with Nick's family.

Harding has crafted a witty and original plot which tackles the awkward aspects of old age in a voice that is refreshingly honest. He paints a touching and sensitive picture of a couple in their final years, but avoids sentimentality. Nick's mother is 18 stone and worries she will waste away if she misses breakfast. His father meanwhile, terminally constipated and rarely intelligible, wields the word "toilet" as his one remaining weapon. The humour--centred around funny foreigners, bowel movements and sex--is very British, but this is far from a cosy book, and its conclusion is as moving as it is unpredictable. --Matthew Baylis