No one Should Be Without It
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Let me introduce you to three wise old women (aka, bored fifteen year olds in a class headed by Sir Francis, the dullest teacher ever to set foot in B5). Lucretia Wartin (aka Luwart) is the main protaganist: full of patronising wisdom and young despite her years, she is a little TOO in-your-face at times, and annoys Sir Francis beyond all boundaries, being the number one on her hitlist.
Ruby Melch is the second of the Three - a strange, musically nerdish old woman, devoted to correcting people's pronounciation of the word 'Johann' (as regards Bach - she insists that it MUST be Yo-han rather than the pleb Joe-han). In a world of her own, Ruby is none the less an integral third of the infamous Three.
Doris Weedman (Doweed to her one and only friend, Luwart) is the last and most definitely least of the Three. A wizened old woman with hair like foam, Do cares for just two things: her worms - her prized worm being one named Bruce - and this book, Core History. Reading from it like a Bible every day keeps her young (or at least as young as she can possibly hope to be kept, given that she is 84 and counting) and allows her to revel in such gems of quotes as
"Hoover did his best to relieve the Depression... he didn't do a lot, but he did a little..."
There is a lot we can learn from the wisdom of Doris Weedman. A frail nonentity, Doweed still manages to learn from the glow of inspiration that is Core. Everyone should know that Doris managed to incorporate the themes of this astounding work of literature EVEN INTO HER ENGLISH LITERATURE EXAMINATION, despite the fact that it is designed for History students! Amazing! As Do said, "core can be brought into ALL subjects."
One final quote - coined by the Three acting as One, which truly sums up the power of this book, the divine feeling of knowledge it imbues one with. It is saying a lot that Core was the sole reason that Doweed, Luwart and Ruby managed to get through over a year of Sir Francis's repitive, sophorific lessons.
The Quote is thus:
"Everyone achieves more
Solving crime and reading Core."
AND now for the final joy: the inscription that Doris carved painstakingly into the front page of the Core given to Luwart on the occasion of her birthday. This is a message from Doweed to YOU, reader:
"Congratulations on reaching this milestone in your life! May you treasure it - and this book - forever. I know you were distraught at having to return Core to Sir Francis but I hope that this will be a suitable replacement. No one should be without a copy of CORE - not only is it fun just to read for the facts but it is so useful that 'it can be brought into all subjects'!"
With Love - the Three
Do, Lu and Rubz.
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