A Personal Development Classic
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I'd heard Your Erroneous Zones, one of Wayne Dyer's earliest books (published in 1976), mentioned many times. Yet despite this, despite the fact that it is a book that has sold over 30 million copies and is considered one of the best-selling books of all time, and despite loving other newer books of Wayne's, I only very recently picked up a copy of Your Erroneous Zones to read.
I like to read authors' books in the order in which they were written, if I can (not always possible, especially with someone like Wayne, who is a prolific writer!). I do this where possible though as I like seeing the development of an author's thoughts around a topic. In this case, however, it was interesting to go back, especially so far back (pretty much to the beginning of Wayne's writing career!). While Wayne's later books are much more focused on spirituality, Your Erroneous Zones is much more of a standard personal development book. It is also written in a more formal tone that dates it to the 1970s ;). Neither of these detracts from the power of the book - it is clear and inspiring in its message to stop worrying, stop feeling guilty and replace these "erroneous zones" with a more empowered way of living.
The book covers a range of topics, diverse yet connected in that growth in one area has a spill-over effect into other areas. Topics addressed include self-acceptance, approval seeking behaviour, guilt, worry, procrastination, anger, and becoming independent. Sprinkled throughout the book are also exhortations to live in the present moment, predating Eckhart Tolle's work on the topic, although not giving much as much information on this specifically. Each chapter discusses one of the "erroneous zones" in detail, giving examples of how each zone manifests itself in daily life to make it easy to recognise when you are displaying ineffective behaviour, as well as providing strategies for overcoming and eliminating the ineffective behaviour and replacing it with a much more effective way of being and doing. Because of the interconnectedness of all the topics discussed, there is a fair amount of repetition of strategies for eliminating the erroneous zones, only slightly different for each behaviour. Rather than this being annoying, I found it quite comforting to know that the strategies could be distilled into a few basic principles, although I would have liked to see the book itself pull this together (I guess I have to do some work though, right?!).
The final chapter of Your Erroneous Zones is a portrait of a person who has eliminated all erroneous zones and is living an emotionally, mentally and spiritually healthy life. It was interesting to read through this chapter to see how I'm doing compared to Wayne's ideal. Luckily, for myself, I found that I displayed many effective behaviours already! I was also able to identify those that I'm still personally working with - rather than beating oneself up over not meeting the ideal, this is an excellent opportunity to see what effective behaviour would look like, and hence to identify areas of further growth.
Would I recommend that you read this book, given that it was written over 30 years ago? Yes, I would. It is a classic in the personal development genre, and it still feels relevant today. If you're looking for a fairly no-nonsense approach to development, then this book is for you!
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I Walk the Line
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This book makes me think of the Johnny Cash song, "I Walk the Line" and Arlo Guthrie's "Walking the Line." I walk the line in that I feel there are parts of this book that are very helpful to other parts that I feel are far from being helpful.
The parts I didn't feel were helpful were Dr. Dyer's tone of seemingly "just getting over" problems. I have heard Dr. Dyer and on one occasion he tells an audience member who had suffered profound losses to "get over it" and maybe that person could "write a book about those losses." That did not sound very helpful and not everybody is in a position or has the ability level to become an author. However, the rest of the book has good, practical tools of empowerment.
The parts I most related to were the passages on not nodding one's head and pretending to agree with something contrary to one's integrity, beliefs or values. If there is one thing I absolutely detest, it is sycophantic behavior and faux agreement. I don't even pretend to laugh at jokes that I don't find funny!
To its credit, this book can be seen as a tool of empowerment. It outlines a list of self defeating behaviors and some ways of counteracting them. It is not a nostrum nor is it a panacea for all personal ills. It is simply a check list of areas in people's lives where challenges are likely to occur and alternate ways of meeting those challenges.
I think of John Lennon, who introduced himself on the Beatles' 1963 Christmas album, "John here, speaking with his voice!" There is more truth than humor to the Chief Beatle's quip. John never lost his own voice or integrity. He, as Dr. Dyer points out "didn't need their [world at large] approval" to recognize his own worth as a good individual. He did not have to sacrifice or compromise his identity and core values and beliefs for anyone. Dr. Dyer goes into this advanced stage of esteem development in the chapter entitled "You Don't Need Their Approval."
The title of this chapter can be misleading. It is best not to read into this the fallacy that you can bluff and pretend that you neither want nor need approval. That is not true. Everybody wants, needs and deserves approval. The main thrust of that chapter is that one need not do things ONLY for approval - let approval be the byproduct and not the impetus. It is about acceptance of one's self and decisions without making approval be the motivator and by keeping it the byproduct.
Nobody can respect a sycophant and it is doubtful that sycophants respect themselves. Sacrificing one's voice to appease those in charge or those whom the sycophant wants to win over is a price that I feel is not worth paying. The Apple Polisher, as is described in this book waits around for others to voice their opinions, only to chime in as an echo. One does not need permission to have their own opinion and I think it is very sad whenever people feel they have to take this approach to survive socially. Dr. Dyer gives an example of a person who does just that. Readers come away with no respect for the person acting as an echo and that serves as a wake up call to everyone to follow John Lennon's example by speaking in their OWN voices.
I think of people like Lech Walesa, Robert Kennedy, Pope John XXIII who did what they believed was right and in turn changed the world for the better. Many disagreed and even opposed them and what they wanted to do. They stayed true to their core values and beliefs regardless of anyone else's approval and effected great changes in the world. I think that helps to clarify the approval question.
All in all, a decent book. No doubt many readers will come away stepping over many erronenous zones.
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Simplicity is best
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Having read a number of self-help books it was refreshing to stumble upon Dr Wayne Dyer and read something which is so simple yet so profound. If one can not just read this book, but live this book, then your life will become limitless and you´ll be filled with a new sense of optimism and enthusiasm. All i can say is that Dr Dyer struck with brilliantly enlightening effect on the mind of this reviewer. Read the book and you´ll see what i mean....
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Good Foundations
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If you have ever wanted to be happier in your life then read thisbook.
This book unlike many others is universal, you don't need abackground in psychology or a believe in God to fully follow it. You justneed to be able to think.
It dosn't even ask you to do anything - just read it.
It may provoke strong reactions - along the lines of trying desperately toprove this book wrong rather than agree that those 'eroneous zones' thatyou possess really are that stupid.
Four years since I read this book I would say that this book contains someof the most important information about living that I have ever beentaught. It's like finding the owners manual for your life - I would haveloved to have read it while I was a child instead of waiting until Ieventually found it.
So, don't buy this book if you -
a) have decided you are not going to read it.
b) want to be unhappy or
c) deliberately do the opposite of what anyone suggests.
otherwise ...
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A Definite read for anyone who is 'Growing' in their life...
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If you are living, you are 'growing'...
To eliminate your erroneous zones is not easy, but with the help of this book, I can work at improving my self-love (If you do not love yourself, how are you supposed to love others?) My love relationship and friendship relationships mean the world to me and this book has made them so much more meaningful. Thank you Dyer, you have changed my life!!
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