Robert Mash's "How to Keep Dinosaurs" is the hilarious, tongue-in-cheek, definitive guide to breeding, raising, feeding, housing, training, and optimally utilizing different breeds of dinosaurs. Along the way, Mash pokes fun at political correctness, Americans, British, politicians, talkshow hosts, and a variety of other concepts, people, and professions. The book starts with an introduction describing the history of human-dinosaur interactions, then moves on to suggest the kinds of equipment dinosaur owners will find handy. Following this are sections on dinosaurs for beginners; dinosaurs that make good house-pets; dinosaurs that have entertainment value (e.g., riding); dinosaurs that are good as guard-animals and in related security/law enforcement areas; dinosaurs that are prime candidates to be raised for meat, eggs, feathers, or hides; and, finally, dinosaurs that are spectacular but only suitable for zoos or safari parks. At the end, there is a brief list of common dinosaur ailments (e.g., many are prone to extreme flatulence and/or constipation), and a family tree showing how the dinosaurs described in the book fit into the overall taxonomy.

Each animal listed is accompanied by a beautiful, full-color "photograph" that often shows the beast interacting with a human. The linguistic background of each animal's name is given, but these derivations are intentionally skewed for humor. There is a well-written description of the animal's strengths, weaknesses, and quirks, plus advice on feeding, housing, and breeding them, along with recommendations on what the dinosaur is most suitable for. There is a map of the world showing the best locations to purchase that particular species, and the specific stores are named. Finally, there is a set of symbols that summarize important information about the animal (e.g., an icon of a teddy bear means the animal likes children; an icon of a teddy bear missing a leg means the animal likes children to eat).

The "photographs" in this book deserve separate mention. Many beautiful, colorful, often full-page pictures are included to depict the dinosaurs and emphasize each animal's special traits. Many dino-human interactions are shown in these pictures. A prime example is the final picture, which shows a magnificent, and quite colorful, Tyrannosaurus Rex, with a family standing very nearby, and above, on an observation platform. They are taking pictures of, and pointing at, the magnificent hunter supreme. The caption reads, "A picture taken mere seconds before tragedy struck . . ."

There is only one sentence in the book where the author "slips" and alludes to the fact that dinosaurs just happen to be extinct. That one instance relates to how all the restrictions involved in dealing with endangered species do not apply to dinosaurs, as they are already extinct. I think this "slip" was intentional, with the multiple and divers purposes of poking fun at zealous conservationists, giving parents one needed statement in case their children take the book as fact, and professionally stamping the book as fiction.

While "How to Keep Dinosaurs" is fiction and made for humor, the author knows his paleontology. The species named, and their characteristics, all fit with modern paleontology and are extrapolations thereof. More recent theories about how avian the dinosaurs might have been are strongly incorporated (i.e., many of the animals depicted have primitive plumage). I am no paleontologist, and I do not know whether or not Mr. Mash is either, but he is certainly closer to being one than am I.

This book is big (length-width) and, with the many illustrations, could be used as a coffeetable book. It is extremely well-done and a lot of fun. Want a chuckle? Buy this keeper.