Basically, any relationship is improved by first improving yourself. As the author points out, if you provide a bad example to your child, you can expect your child to copy you. If you allow harmful influences into your child's life, those will be copied too in many cases.

The good news is that children will normally only misbehave about 5-10 percent of the time, unless we train them to do so more often as the primary way to get attention, rewards, and satisfaction. If you are having more trouble than that, this book will definitely help you.

There's a wonderful self-help quiz to assess whether or not you need this book. Here are my two favorite questions: "Does your baby sitter give you a discount for coming home early?" "Do your children spend hours in front of the TV and only minutes doing homework?"

The reference to B.F. Skinner is an allusion to his behavioral modification theories, which he applied to one of his own children by keeping the child in a box, and using the kind of training that you use with pets. This book puts that inappropriate method out of the way by seeking thinking cooperation from, not control, of the child.

The author has 25 years of experience as a school psychiatrist dealing with "behavior-disabled children." He's seen it all. I liked his stories though about his own family best, starting with the one about his 3 year old relieving himself in the refrigerator after the new baby came home. Sibling rivalry strikes again!

The book has special chapters for dealing with all of the toughest problems: children who misbehave deliberately all the time; ADD; violent children; when and whether to spank; changing the rules that don't work; and overcoming your own bad habits of losing your temper.

To start the book, you are asked to be open to new ideas, to manage your own anger, to learn to prevent arguments and power struggles, to be patient, consistent, and positive. That's all good advice, but I think the patient is the best. Children don't usually move as quickly or as directly as parents like. With a little patience and encouragement, however, they will usually get where they need to go. Most parents take their children's behavior too personally, as though it is a physical demerit or punishment aimed at the parent. Lighten up!

The only area where I disagreed with the book's advice (after the experience of 4 children) is in turning everything possible into a potential reward or a punishment. I think you can get the results you want without going that far. That approach just encourages kids to be overly sensitive to looking for carrots and sticks in adult life. Life isn't that simple or fair.

I was especially impressed with the advice for how to help children develop the ability to make good decisions, and gradually increase the scope of their decisions as they become better at it. That's the way to help your children, while keeping some peace in the process.

If you think you are very good with your children and get the results you want, then you probably don't need this book. If you aren't happy with how things are going, this book can really help you. It's essentially Relationship Rescue for parents and children.

Overcome your misconceptions about how to be a good parent and live happily ever after!

Enjoy your children at the same time!

Based upon stories from thousands of parents, Dr. Severe has devised strategies for parents to manage their behavior, while successfully guiding their children's behavior. He uses common behavior scenarios to exemplify ways in which parents can use these strategies.

Familiar occurrences of tantrums in the grocery store, bedtime hassles, or fighting siblings, often leave parents feeling angry, helpless, defeated, and without control.

Dr. Severe pin-points consistency as a key element in successfully deterring misbehavior and promoting good behavior. As a parent, I know how difficult it is to remain consistent. A statement he made in the book sums up what many parents experience. "Some days we let misbehaviors slide, some days we play warden." I found myself nodding with recognition as he described how parents often feel too tired to argue or yell in a desperate effort to gain cooperation from their children.

It's easy for parents to become caught up in a cycle of power struggles and inconsistent discipline. In his book, Dr. Severe helps parents break these cycles and gain control, with simple self-assessment methods and practical ideas for: implementing incentives without bribing utilizing punishments that teach, and managing children's behavior without arguments andpower struggles.

He also discusses the difference between threats and warnings, the ineffectiveness of spontaneous spanking, and how to make time-outs productive. He stresses the importance of acknowledging our children's good behavior, and gives us dialog that will help them develop valuable decision-making skills.

I found this empowering collection of stories and activities easy to read, non-judgemental, and I highly recommend it to parents who want to improve their parenting skills.

Dr. Severe also shares tips and insights in a free one year subscription to his quarterly newsletter for purchasers of his book.

Mark Victor Hansen, New York Times Best-selling Author, Chicken Soup for the Soul